The Urban Gentleman's Sport
Welcome to the world of Street Croquet, where the refined art of traditional croquet meets the raw energy of urban life. This is not your grandmother's croquet - this is a sport for the modern urban sophisticate who appreciates both tradition and innovation.
Street Croquet combines the strategic depth of traditional croquet with the unpredictable elements of urban terrain, creating a sport that demands both finesse and street smarts.
As all historic sports, Street Croquet has multiple editions whereas 2nd edition is the most recent and well-established. Only latest edition is accepted at official tournaments, but older editions are still celebrated in informal games and exhibitions.
It's important to get moving and enjoy some fresh air. What better way to do that than with a competitive game of croquet to prove who's the best? For this purpose, there's no better sport than Street Croquet!
The winner is the team that:
(Rule accepted in 2nd edition by official committee)
Accepted in version 2nd edition by official committee
Penalty shots are conducted in the event of a draw between one or more balls. It takes place after the main game has finished.
Get your official copy of the Street Croquet rules in a beautifully formatted PDF document. Perfect for printing and keeping in your gentleman's library.
To save as PDF: Open the document and press CTRL+P (or CMD+P on Mac), then select "Save as PDF" in your browser's print dialog.
Verse
All in glory, stand up straight,
Mallet down, do not be late.
Mind the curb, ignore the crack,
Garden rules and street‑born swa-ag.
Chorus
StreetCrocket! Say it slow,
Proper sport, but don't you know—
Lawns are here, but concrete pri-ide,
Play it po-osh, play it wide.
Verse
Pinky up, but grit below,
Challenge is rough, we play it so.
Say "good shot" with irony,
Smile poli-ite but curse beneath.
Chorus
StreetCrocket! Hit it clean,
Like the Queen, but slightly mean.
Old school flair, new school to-one,
This street is now our croquet throne.
Bridge
Is it right? Is it wrong?
Doesn't matter — play along.
Bend the hoop, break the norm,
Tradition mildly defo-ormed.
Final Chorus (x2)
StreetCrocket! One, two, three,
Danish sport with irony.
No gates, just grass, and attitude,
Properly played. Improperly viewed.
The ISCC (International Street Croquet Committee) is the governing body of Street Croquet, established in 2024 by a group of disgruntled traditional croquet players who found the sport "too predictable."
Chairman of the Committee
Former hedge fund manager turned street croquet enthusiast. Known for his signature move: "The Wellington Wall Street Wicket." to use the club to hit the ball the same way as in snooker.
Head of Rules and Regulations
Descendant of Austrian nobility, she revolutionized the sport by introducing the concept of "urban wicket architecture." which is to use utilities for challenges around the course.
Director of Street Croquet Philosophy
Author of the controversial treatise "The Metaphysics of Urban Mallet Strikes" and inventor of the "Pumpernickel Pivot" known as lobbing.
Chief of Street Etiquette
Former traffic controller who brought order to chaos by implementing the "Montgomery Method" of urban course design.