Street Croquet

The Urban Gentleman's Sport

Welcome to Street Croquet

Welcome to the world of Street Croquet, where the refined art of traditional croquet meets the raw energy of urban life. This is not your grandmother's croquet - this is a sport for the modern urban sophisticate who appreciates both tradition and innovation.

Street Croquet combines the strategic depth of traditional croquet with the unpredictable elements of urban terrain, creating a sport that demands both finesse and street smarts.

As all historic sports, Street Croquet has multiple editions whereas 2nd edition is the most recent and well-established. Only latest edition is accepted at official tournaments, but older editions are still celebrated in informal games and exhibitions.

Official Rules of Street Croquet

It's important to get moving and enjoy some fresh air. What better way to do that than with a competitive game of croquet to prove who's the best? For this purpose, there's no better sport than Street Croquet!

Basic Requirements

  • Street Croquet requires a minimum of 4 players, as each team must have at least 2 players, and the game needs 2 teams.
  • For a match to be considered official Street Croquet, there must be a sparkling wine, Cava, Cremant or Champagne involved, which must be consumed during the game.

Course Setup

  • The course is built by one or more people (who do not necessarily have to participate).
  • Once the course is ready, the builders must give a thorough explanation of its layout and challenges—both forward and backward.
  • This is concluded with a Hellerup applause by the builders.

Course Requirements

  • All white gates must be used, along with the two posts featuring four colors.
  • The starting shot must be made from a square of artificial or plastic grass.
  • The match begins with the team whose color is at the top of the "starting post." The next team follows in second place, and so on.
  • Each player must take turns shooting within the team, ensuring every participant takes a shot.
  • The leading team must not lob the ball. They must strike using the end of the mallet.

Winning Conditions

The winner is the team that:

  • Completes the course.
  • Turns around the second starting post.
  • Returns and hits the first starting post first.

Additional Rules

  • Players may strike their opponent's ball to move it away if they are feeling desperate.
  • Every time a ball passes through a white gate, there is a collective toast.
  • If the mid-game pole is accidentally hit, the team hitting it will skip a turn. Additionally, the other teams has the option to agree on a non-game related penalty.

    (Rule accepted in 2nd edition by official committee)

  • Sportsmanship is NOT expected. Winners win, losers lose. There is only one winning team in Street Croquet.
  • Beyond these rules, regular garden croquet rules apply.

Penalty Shots

Accepted in version 2nd edition by official committee

Penalty shots are conducted in the event of a draw between one or more balls. It takes place after the main game has finished.

Setup:

  • Place a post in the ground.
  • Set a plastic gate 2 meters away from the post.
  • 1 meter from the gate (in the opposite direction of the post), place the starting grass.

Procedure:

  • Teams take turns shooting one shot from the starting grass.
  • The goal is to pass through the gate and hit the post.
  • If a team hits the post on the first shot, they are declared the winner immediately, and remaining teams do not get to shoot.
  • If no team hits the post, the closest ball to the post wins.
  • If there is another tie, the penalty shots continue until a winner is determined.

Download Official Rules

Get your official copy of the Street Croquet rules in a beautifully formatted PDF document. Perfect for printing and keeping in your gentleman's library.

To save as PDF: Open the document and press CTRL+P (or CMD+P on Mac), then select "Save as PDF" in your browser's print dialog.

The Official Street Croquet Anthem

Verse

All in glory, stand up straight,
Mallet down, do not be late.
Mind the curb, ignore the crack,
Garden rules and street‑born swa-ag.


Chorus

StreetCrocket! Say it slow,
Proper sport, but don't you know—
Lawns are here, but concrete pri-ide,
Play it po-osh, play it wide.


Verse

Pinky up, but grit below,
Challenge is rough, we play it so.
Say "good shot" with irony,
Smile poli-ite but curse beneath.


Chorus

StreetCrocket! Hit it clean,
Like the Queen, but slightly mean.
Old school flair, new school to-one,
This street is now our croquet throne.


Bridge

Is it right? Is it wrong?
Doesn't matter — play along.
Bend the hoop, break the norm,
Tradition mildly defo-ormed.


Final Chorus (x2)

StreetCrocket! One, two, three,
Danish sport with irony.
No gates, just grass, and attitude,
Properly played. Improperly viewed.

The International Street Croquet Committee

The ISCC (International Street Croquet Committee) is the governing body of Street Croquet, established in 2024 by a group of disgruntled traditional croquet players who found the sport "too predictable."

Sir Reginald "The Urban Knight" Wellington III

Chairman of the Committee

Former hedge fund manager turned street croquet enthusiast. Known for his signature move: "The Wellington Wall Street Wicket." to use the club to hit the ball the same way as in snooker.

Lady Penelope "The Concrete Countess" von Schnitzel

Head of Rules and Regulations

Descendant of Austrian nobility, she revolutionized the sport by introducing the concept of "urban wicket architecture." which is to use utilities for challenges around the course.

Professor Bartholomew "The Sidewalk Scholar" Pumpernickel

Director of Street Croquet Philosophy

Author of the controversial treatise "The Metaphysics of Urban Mallet Strikes" and inventor of the "Pumpernickel Pivot" known as lobbing.

Dame Victoria "The Traffic Light" Montgomery

Chief of Street Etiquette

Former traffic controller who brought order to chaos by implementing the "Montgomery Method" of urban course design.

Contact Us

We do not accept any inquiries about the great sport of street croquet at the moment. There cannot be any reason for you to contact us at the moment, since the sport is perfect.

Should you, against all odds, believe you have something of value to contribute to our perfect sport, please be aware that your message will be ceremoniously ignored by our team of highly trained non-responders.